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People don't want to know how proud you are — they want to know how you'll change their life

By Dave Harland · Founder The Copy Cabin; UK-based copywriter known as "The Word Man" · 2024-03-01 · essay · The Copy Cabin — Benefits Over Pride

Tier A · TL;DR
People don't want to know how proud you are — they want to know how you'll change their life

Claim

The most common B2B copy failure is a writer-side / company-side framing: "We are proud to..." / "Our award-winning..." / "We have been delivering excellence since...." The reader does not care. They care about what the company will do for them. Every sentence that centres the company instead of the reader's life is a sentence that fails to convert.

Mechanism

Buyer attention runs on a "what's in it for me?" filter. Sentences starting with "We" / "Our" / "Our company" trigger the filter immediately — the reader's brain detects "this is about them, not me" and disengages. Sentences starting with "You" / "Your team" / "You'll" pass the filter because they answer the buyer's implicit question. The discipline isn't to remove all references to the company; it's to ensure that company references are in service of a reader benefit, not a company self-celebration. "We've delivered for 200+ enterprise customers" is acceptable because it implies "you can trust us"; "We are proud of our 200+ enterprise customers" is not acceptable because it serves the company, not the reader.

Conditions

Holds when:

Fails when:

Evidence

"People don't want to know how proud you are of your company. They want to know how you'll change their life."

— see raw/expert-content/experts/dave-harland.md line 5.

Signals

Counter-evidence

The "you" rule can be over-applied. Some sentences naturally start with "we" because they describe a fact the reader needs ("We support 14 languages including Mandarin and Arabic"). The discipline is matching pronouns to whose interest the sentence serves, not eliminating "we" mechanically.

Cross-references

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